Ireland's high birth rate and the economy

Many years ago, while living and working in London, we came back home for a few boating holidays on the Shannon. Once, we moored the hire boat at Rooskey and took a walk to a big barn of a pub called the Kon Tiki. The place was empty, with the exception of the barman and an old guy we got chatting to. The old guy told us that there was hardly a young person left in the area, as most of them had emigrated just as we had.

So although Ireland had a young population then, as now, if you wanted to work then sometimes the only choice was to get on the boat, and we are talking Stena Sealink rather than Carrick Craft here. Which makes you wonder about the logic of predicting economic growth or property prices on birth rate.

In 2007, Marc Coleman published a book with the unfortunate title of “The Best is Yet to Come”. I haven’t read the book, but from what I can gather, it is written on the premise that Ireland will experience major economic growth in the future based on net migration and domestic population growth.

The problem about making predictions based on the trends and conditions of a given period, however, is that trends and conditions have an awful habit of changing. Coleman reckons, based on reviews I’ve read, that Ireland (I assume the Republic) will boast a population of 8 million by 2050. You can just imagine the builders’ eyes lighting up at such a prospect.

Thing is, Ireland actually experienced net emigration in 2009, according to CSO figures, with 7,800 people leaving the country. This, I assume, is due to the simple reason that the work has dried up. Add in the fact that all of the old EU 15 states will open up their borders to workers from the assession countries next year, and it gets more interesting.  Up until now, people from countries such as Poland, Lithuania and Latvia have only been allowed to work in Ireland, the UK and Sweden.  Now let’s face it, if you were from one of these countries, would you not rather work in nearby Germany or maybe the south of France in preference to Ireland if you had the choice?  I know I would.  So that’s the increasing migration aspect dealt with, then.

Ireland’s birth-rate is another matter of course. While the rest of the EU’s population is greying, we are still popping them out like there’s no tomorrow, comparatively, with women in Ireland giving birth to an average of 2.05 children a year as opposed to 1.98 in France and 1.92 in Britain. Poland’s figure was 1.31. (CSO report, May).

Mind you, it’s all relative, as 2.1 is the figure deemed necessary for a population to stay at the same level, excluding migration.  Even so, the CSO still predicts a population of 5 million by 2021. There will have to be a major run on Viagra if Coleman's figure of 8 million just 29 years later is to be reached.

Fast forward 40 years, though, and it’s pretty likely that the Irish powers-that-be will be using emigration as a safety valve – as they have done since the State’s inception with only a few minor interruptions along the way.

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M8 Dublin to Cork motorway opens today

So the final motorway section of the Dublin-Cork motorway is opening today, four months ahead of schedule.  Not that I've plans to go to Cork anytime soon (where exactly is it, anyway?), but it makes sense to have all our major cities/towns joined up by good, safe roads - not only to shorten journey times, but to "saeve liiiives".  

The N7 to Limerick won't be complete until later this year, it seems, but they mentioned on Morning Ireland that it will bypass a notorious stretch of road between Mountrath and Borris-in-Ossary that has seen 30 road deaths alone. 

By monitoring statistics in regions like this over the coming years we will confirm that better roads equal fewer road deaths - regardless of the fact that Go Safe, the private speed camera consortium, will be let off the leash in the meantime to raise funds for speedo infringements (it needs to generate €16 million a year in fines to cover costs) and claim the credit for what was happening anyway.

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12 women travel to UK for abortions every day. We need abortion rights in Ireland

“And what about the rights of the unborn”, I hear them say. “And what if YOU had been aborted”, is another refrain I hear in my mind’s ear.  Well, in answer to the first question I’d say I care more about the rights of the born. To the second I can only say, sure, I wouldn’t be here - but nor would those asking the stupid questions. And given a few of the Youth Defence specimens I’ve seen over the years, maybe that would not be a bad thing?

Don’t get me wrong. I am not in favour of using abortion as contraception. Contraceptives are available all over Ireland now, I hope, so there is no excuse in that regard. Unlike in the not-too-distant-past.

But as mentioned in an earlier post of about a year ago, there will always be crisis pregnancies because of economic/emotional circumstances, medical anomalies or complications, incest and rape. What’s more, as a man, I will never be faced with the dilemma, and will never have the State dictating what I should do with my body. But a woman should have choice.

The stark fact too, is that the longer Irish women are denied abortion rights, the more the chances their abortions (when they eventually arrange and procure them) will be later-term ones.

This topic is up again due to figures (Metro, 26th May) indicating that 12 women a day travel to Britain for an abortion, with 4,422 patients giving an Irish address to UK clinics last year. Neil Behan, head of the Irish Family Planning Association, is quoted as saying that at least 142,060 women travelled to Britain for an abortion since 1980.

Remember too, that these figures only account for those who gave Irish addresses. Many will give UK addresses if they have Britain-based friends or relations who are assisting them through what is already a very distressing situation.

There is a great Irish tradition of ignoring reality, I know. But ignoring reality does not make it go away. It’s time that the Irish authorities faced up to this one, and allowed Irish women the abortion rights most of their European counterparts are entitled to.

See also:

The Story of Paul and Mandy

The above map originated from a BBC article of 12 February, 2007

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Shell to Sea, Ray Burke, and the irresistible gombeenism of Ireland

There is a strong element of NIMBYism in Ireland. If you want to widen your gateposts in Dublin, there’s always a chance that someone in Kerry could object - redefining the very concept. Or if you want to link towns and cities with a motorway (statistically the safest roads) or replace death-trap bridges (see Slane) there will be no shortage of consciensious objectors trying to put the mockers on it.

So I have to admit when I heard, way back when, that protesters were out blocking the roads in Mayo - reciting the Rosary as Gaeilge, no less - in objection to Shell’s proposed gas pipeline going over their land, I was a bit sceptical to put it very mildly.

But just as the State took such a major role in suppressing dissent when Ronald Ronald Reagan visited these shores many years ago - with a special fondness in his heart for the imbeciles of Ballyporeen – you have to wonder if they have some kind of point. Oh, and at that time the Irish prime minister was espoused liberal, Garret Fitzgerald. Welcome Ronnie the warmonger.

Remember too, that the Irish government has never been behind the door when prostitiuing us to the multinationals. OK, we’ve more jobs nowadays than we did in the ‘80s, but there is such a thing as protection.

Then there’s the payoff. While having Google and Microsoft here gives us jobs, you have to wonder about us being the prime facilitators of corporate tax-dodging in the EU. Ask anyone employed in one of these concerns and the answer will be predictable. And understandable. But?

So, no surprise tben, that the Irish government sold us so short when they wrote the Corrib exploration rights off to Shell. Professor John M Simmie, from the chemistry facuilty of NUI Galway, maintained in the Irish Times of August 23rd, 2005, that “ at that time, the country had neither the trained personnel nor the funds to wildcat for oil and gas. It would have been a giant gamble at a time when our economy could not have sustained such a shock.”

OK, 50/1 are odds that the most optimistic gambler would shirk at, but even if your horse wins because the rest of the field falls down, you wouldn’t have backed it unless you thought there was some chance of winning. But it seems that corrupt Fianna Fail politician, Ray Burke, lobbied to abolish existing legislation of the time - which gave the State a 50% stake in any discoveries - to facilitate Shell’s deployment here. You can look further into this at the Shell to Sea website here.

For my part, I know we need energy resources, I know we need investment, I know we need infrastructure. But I also know that if someone like Ray Burke was involved in Shell’s investment here, you have to wonder.

In times like this we need to make the most of the few assets we have to get some semblance of profit for our pains - whilst keeping within international safety standards .

Is it too much to ask?

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Potholes.ie - campaigning to make our roads safer.

Just a quick post to inform you all of a site called potholes.ie, whose organisers are doing their bit to make our roads safer by drawing attention to the perilous state of our highways and byways and the threat they pose not just to our vehicles, but to life and limb. See below a comment from Graham, one of the people behind the site, to an earlier Gombeen Nation post:


Hi Mr. GM,
I'm not sure if you've heard about our little site potholes.ie which is trying to highlight the issue of... you guessed, potholes across the nation. We've tried to involve as many CO. Co. as possible to have a balanced view on the topic and allow them some floorspace to illustrate the massive efforts being put in by all of their hard working employees (cue the sarcasm if you haven't noticed!). In fairness, DCC have been the most accommodating Co.Co. so far, giving us little tips on how the information we provide could be better laid out etc. etc. However, the best response was from the nice people of Drogheda Borough County Council, who told us;

"This Website has no official status and we will not be contributing. You need not send on any further correspondence." The first thing that jumps out is that no-one has had the balls to put their name to the email and secondly, who says I can't send an email to a public body email address?? We pay for the bloody email address, so I'll email it if I want to!!! Sorry, rant over.

Anyway, I would appreciate it if anyone would like to logon to our site and report a few potholes. Those of you from Drogheda are even more welcomed!

Thanks, Graham
The Potholes.ie Team

 It should be borne in mind that a recent AA survey of 7,000 motorists (Sindo 9th May) revealed that 22% of drivers had hit a pothole which caused enough damage to justify calling out the AA or visiting a garage. 24 per cent of affected motorists reported the damage to their local authority, but in only 17% of cases were repairs carried out.  

If you know of any tank traps out your way, at least if you report them to the site above, it will be on  record... even if the councils do nothing and someone ends up getting killed.

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TDs’ pension “gifts” can be written off against tax

It’s never nice when your holidays are drawing to an end and you’re in the last week. I suppose the only consolation is you’re not compelled to buy the Sindo anymore, if you’re in the habit of getting a paper on a Sunday. That’s the only thing you can get in this part of Spain.

I got it again in an attempt to keep abreast of goings-on in dear old Erin, but I have to say - having read the thing cover to cover - I’m none the wiser. It looks as though an editorial directive was issued by Tony O’Reilly to talk up economic recovery, with hacks and columnists (with the exception of the excellent Gene Kerrigan) spinning out dizzying statistics to convince us that Ireland is out of recession and is going to be the envy of the world once more. Mind you, GDP figures can be misleading when you are host to as many tax-dodging multinationals as we are.

Indeed, I’m half expecting to see the skyline punctured by busy cranes whizzing about like something out of War of the Worlds when I get back, and to learn that Nama is a distant memory that everyone laughs about as they rush off, in their loan-financed ‘10 Mercs, to snap up yet another investment property.

So when I found myself reading that politicians who “gifted” their pensions to the State were to get the total amount back in tax credits, I didn’t know what to believe. But, in an Irish context, that seems far more likely than the economy-as-Lazarus guff.

It seems that due to “legal difficulties” the only way serving TDs could relinquish their multiple pensions, which they receive even as they are working, was by making a gift of them to the State. Funny how the phrases “legal difficulties” and “it would be unconstitutional” are always invoked when the privileged are challenged in some way, isn’t it? Another example being when judges were asked to take a pay cut.

According to the paper’s chief reporter, Daniel McConnell, the Revenue Commissioner says that “any person who gifts money to the Minister for Finance and the State will have that amount written down against their income tax liability.” So TDs who have supposedly relinquished their pensions will be none the worse off, and the exchequer will be none the better off? What??

If that is true, it sounds too incredible even for Ireland.

Can’t wait to get back.

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Cowen admits FF responsibility for economy. Sort of.

So somebody from Fianna Fail has finally admitted that its property tax breaks and shelters damaged the economy. Sort of. Brian Cowen is reported by yesterday’s Indo as saying that “governments should never again introduce tax breaks which would make a property bubble possible” and that “property tax incentives in place over the period from the mid-1990s should have been abolished many years prior to his decision to abolish them in December 2005”.

Notwithstanding the fact that Section 23s were still being built long after that date – you can still see the developers trying to flog some of them if you buy a Sunday paper – isn’t that a Damascus moment for Cowen? Or is it just the wriggling of a particularly slimy worm on the end of a hook? It’s the latter – as the next quotation in the piece implies:

“While government shares responsibility for its role in these mistakes, it is noteworthy that many of the strongest critics of the government were silent on these issues prior to the crisis and indeed were proposing measures such as the radical reduction or abolition of stamp duty which would have made the position much worse.”

“Some responsibility”? Bloody hell, should that not read “all”? They were the government after all, and they did introduce the tax measures in question. Fianna Fail also slashed capital gains tax, another move which guaranteed to inflate the property market. Cowen does, however,  have a point about the relative silence of the media and many opposition politicians while the bubble was crazily inflating.

Despite Cowen’s, and other government ministers’, assurances at the time that Ireland’s property market inflation was based on sound fundamentals, it was obvious to anyone with a brain in their heads that an economy could not be based on, and sustained on, ever increasing property prices. You didn’t need to go to economics school for that, just high-babies. The silence from the mainstream media (with notable exceptions such as David McWilliams, who was dismissed as a crank and a killjoy) was remarkable.

Now, I don't have a list of TDs' and councillors investment properties at my disposal (assuming it would be possible to collate a reliable list on the subject) but I would say such a list would be revealing. It would be similarly interesting to sift through the capital asset investments of media commentators. I know it sounds very cynical – not to mention analytically simplistic – but how come all these people, who are considered intelligent and are not usually slow about holding forth on all manner of other topics, were – for the most part - so quiet?

And on that very point, just a week or so before I went on holiday, some RTE property guru, from one of those programmes that encouraged gullible idiots to “buy! buy! buy!” was advising people selling property to “hold out” for their prices. I think the longer they hold out, the less they will get.

If anyone expects property prices to return to the levels of 2006 anytime soon, they can forget it. That money was never actually in the economy in the first place. That’s why we have had Nama imposed on the dopey, docile Irish public. That’s why the country is in the mess it is, and no amount of upbeat talk by Tom Parlon or Goodbodys is going to change that.

Another thing. When countries such as Poland, Latvia and Lithuania joined the EU, only three states opened up their doors to them with regard to their labour markets. Ireland, the UK, and Sweden. As far as I am aware, workers from these countries will be allowed to work in the rest of the EU states from 2011. That’s next year.

That will give such workers far more attractive options than Ireland, which could have interesting consequences for our buy-to-let investors and the Irish property market in general.

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The future's not so clair...

Do you ever read those thrashy mags such as “Take a Break”, “Chat”, “Love It!”, “Full House!”, “Real People”, “Pick Me Up” and the like? If not, presumably because you feel they aren’t sufficiently high-brow for your sensibilities, you are missing out. They are great, they really are. We’ve got a stash of them here on holidays with us.

Now I’m not talking about the celebrity ones – wouldn’t be interested in those at all – but the ones that feature allegedly true scandal stories from “real people”. Mothers having it off with their daughter’s new hubby (usually called Darren) on the wedding day, then the pair of them - the mother and Darren - shacking up together before the confetti has blown out of the churchyard. It’s always a church wedding, and it’s usually financed by a 20-grand advance from The Loan Company.

Then there are full-page adverts flogging “collections” from the Franklin Mint or some such. Tacky plates or trinkets and “gold plated” rings with big farthings on them, which presumably double as knuckle dusters if someone spills your pint down the pub. Another one, from the Diamond Discount Centre, features an awful-looking ring containing “24 diamonds” for 99 quid. I don’t do jewellery myself, but that sounds a bit cheap for 24 diamonds. Real ones, I mean.

Then there are stories about “psychic dating”, where two charlatans – I mean clairvoyants – who happen to be “twin flames” (lovers in a “past life”, apparently. They’ve been together a year in this one) tell hopefuls who’ve handed over the requisite readies that they are going to meet their “soulmate” very soon, and that Aunt Aggie has confirmed the validity of this prediction from beyond the grave. One woman at a “psychic speed-dating” session, Rachel Spencer, had “tried everything to bag Mr Right, with no luck”. “I’ve been single for six years”, she reveals, then goes on to tell us she avoids even speaking to anyone who is “a Gemini or a Sagittarius”. Is it any wonder, love?

This is very tenuous, I know, for a Gombeen Nation blog (so you must think I’m getting very desperate) but there is an Irish connection here. Real People has a “Mad World” column, consisting of “mapcap stories from around the globe”. One of the stories is about a clairvoyant by the name of Una Power, who took 98FM to an employment tribunal for axing her psychic phone-in show. “I was stunned”, she told the court, “this came completely out of the blue”.

So much for looking into the future, eh?

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Beethoven, culture and Corrie

The concepts of “culture” and “popular culture” have cropped up on the blog before. And I suppose that “culture” is anything that is still “popular” after the substantial passing of time (purely on its own merit). Like Beethoven.

Excuse me donning the pretentious arty-farty critic guise here, encouraged by a few holiday riojas, but I am reading “Beethoven the Universal Composer” by Edmund Morris, and it’s really quite good.

I had always imagined that writing a symphony would be a pretty daunting project, but was nonetheless stunned to learn that Ludwig’s second contained 1,925 separate ciphers on its opening page – equating to music that lasted no longer than 15 seconds. Then throw into the mix the fact that the man (who had perfect pitch) was battling deafness - on the way to losing his hearing completely by the time he’d written his Ninth Symphony (the Ode to Joy part of which is now the EU anthem) – and it is truly, humiliatingly, stunning.

That was on the roof earlier. Then there was Coronation Street later this evening. If you watch it – and I do – you’ll know there’s a character in it with a touch of the Annie Wilkes of “Misery” fame about her. In recent episodes she more or less held hostage a gossipy, interfering, nosey, short-arsed little bollocks called Norris Cole in an isolated cottage in Bronte (or Brunty) Country. He eventually escaped and lived to tell the tale... something he’s quite good at.

Anyway, he was sipping half an ale (a half!) in the Rovers when he shot out of the pub the millisecond his captor arrived on the threshold. “He always leaves skidmarks whenever I appear”, she observed. You would probably have to see it and know the characters to appreciate it, but it was classic comedy.

So what is culture? Real, living, unsubsidised culture?

It is culture that transcends national boundaries. Just as Beethoven’s work was good enough to gain an appreciation beyond Germany and Austria (for much of his career he was based in Vienna) and is now world culture. Just as football – as the majority of the Earth understands it – is a game appreciated in every corner of the globe. Just as Corrie has an audience way beyond Weatherfield. Something that no amount of subsidies for Ros na Ruin and the like will ever achieve.

And why? Because they have universal merit, they are truly part of all our cultures.

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Thoughts of home

I don’t usually buy the Sindo, but it’s all they have here in this corner of Spain. Anyway, it’s always nice to catch up with the latest shenanigans, scandals and corruption at home. Makes you enjoy your holiday all the more, I find.

So what have we got? Gerry Ryan slipping off the mortal coil, leaving a €300,000 tax bill behind. A “market gardener” from Swords leaving €3 million in his will (oh to be self-employed in Ireland. As soon as I get back it’s down to the Tech for some horticultural evening classes). Mary McAleese, our esteemed president, running up €1.2 million in expenses over four years. Rumours of Lenihan being forced to call an early budget to address the public finances. Pyramid-scheme fruadsters who continue to live lavish lifestyles, whose activities have yet to warrant an interview by the Garda. Where’s that Wolfe Tones CD, begob? I’m getting homesick here.

You can only take so much news from home, so thankfully, the apartment we’ve rented does not have RTE. I’ve been able to keep up with the important news though, such as Leeds United being promoted and Norris escaping the clutches of Mary in Coronation Street.

Then there was the British election. Great to see the BNP humiliated, losing all 12 of their council seats and getting nothing on a national(ist) level, after fielding some 300 candidates. Nevertheless it’s worrying that over half a million people voted for them. Not so great to see the Tories elected, but at least whatever power they hold will be tenuous. And can they be much worse than Gordon Brown’s Labour anyway? Speaking of whom, when IS he going to naff off?

And what about that Shinner who scraped in by four seats? A salutary vindication of that party’s old “vote early and vote often” policy, if ever there was one. Then there was the truly incredible spectacle, to Irish eyes, of a politician being voted out after an expenses scandal (piffling compared with anything you would get here), with Jacqui Smith, ex home secretary, being told to sling her hook.

And on that theme: a very welcome ” bye-bye” to Peter Robinson. The DUP might very well count some prize bigots among its support, but at least they would appear to have standards of some sort.

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Things that go bump. The relentless advance of the road safety industry.

The car must think it’s a clear-cut frying pan/fire case. Villamartin, near Torrejeiva, must be the speed bump capital of Spain. Actually, make that the bump capital, as the place is resplendent with potholes that would sink a medium-sized tank. Add in speed bumps that would dwarf anything you might see this side of Darndale – or Everest – and you get the picture. You’d nearly need a team of sherpas to get from one side of the place to the other.

And what’s the point of speed bumps anyway? If you care about your car’s nuts and bolts you will slow down to a crawl for them, only to find there’s some idiot right up your arse taking them at the same speed as the rest of the road. This is true – I have experienced it many, many times.

So what do you do? You crawl over the speed bump and floor the accelerator to get to the next one, where you slam on the brakes to keep your distance from the oblivious tailgater. The funny thing is, speed bumps lead people who care about their cars to run their engines at higher revs. Speed bumps also pose a hazard for emergency vehicles – ambulances in particular.

Then again, some people seem to drive at the same speed all the time, regardless of whether they are on a motorway, driving through a village, going a past a school, or going over a speed bump. Surely one of the most important skills of driving is tailoring your speed to suit the conditions?

It seems that a whole industry has formed around the issue of road safety, despite the fact that road fatalities are at historically low levels. This is because cars are safer and more of them are now equipped with electronic stability control (despite the Irish government taxing the life-saving technology and leading to some manufacturers dropping it from models destined for sale in Ireland).

Another thing is that our roads are becoming safer, due to the increasing numbers of motorways (the safest category of road) despite the protests of crusties, druids and middle-class tree-huggers for whom the safe commute to and from work every day is not a priority.

But the more these people get their way, the more they will be wrongly “vindicated”. They will attribute the decline in road deaths – for the reasons explained above – with their introduction of speed bumps, ridiculous 30 k/mh speed limits, and speed cameras with this decline – which was happening anyway.

For a perfect example of this dishonesty, one need only look at the Dublin Cycling Campaign website (I won’t dignify it with a link – you can search it if you want).

This group supported Dublin Corporation’s imposition of a 30 km/h limit on the city’s quays to save the lives of pedestrians and cyclists. And I will point out at this juncture that I am a pedestrian most of the time.

Anyone who knows Dublin will be aware that it is impossible to do 30 km/h when it is busy with pedestrians, cars, motorcycles and motorists. So it is absolute nonsense. Our lazy coppers will only use this limit to bump up their conviction quotas early in the morning and late at night.

And here’s another reason why the Dublin Cycling Campaign will claim Dublin Corporation’s speed limit to have been instrumental in “saving lives” a few years from now - totally incorrectly.

The fact is that 25 pedestrians and cyclists died in Dublin city centre since 1998. Only one involved a private car. Two involved motorbikes. One involved a taxi. The really telling statistic is that NINE pedestrians/cyclists were killed by juggernauts (which have since been banned from town) and FIVE were killed by a bus that mounted the pavement on the quays. The others are unclear, but I can think of at least two who where killed by police cars.

Please refer to this post when the Dublin Cycling Campaign and Dublin Corporation are trotting out their statistics in a few years’ time.

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A place in the Sun

I am the blogosphere’s Victor Mildrew. You know how I give out (and with some justification, I believe) about Ireland? Well this place is as bad. Nearly.


Spain seems to be a country that’s only half-finished. Well, at least in the touristy bit where I am at present – a place called Villamartin south of Torreveija – or Torraheny as it is sometimes disparagingly called, due to its past popularity with Irish people eager to get into debt to buy a “place in the sun”, or escape the attention of the Criminal Assets Bureau.

It’s an awful kip altogether, and at the minute it’s blowing a gale and the place is swathed in enough featureless stratocumulous to render the most enthusiastic cloud spotter unconscious with boredom (exept for a brief Damascian break in the clouds that lasted the time it took to take this picture).  Sorry, I’m doing a Victor again. I don’t believe it.

Anyway, it’s interesting to observe the proliferation of half-finished developments, and the number of houses and apartments sporting “se vende” signs (only occurred to me today that’s where we get the term “vendor” from. Or from the Latin root, at least). The pic above is typical, and was taken just a few minutes walk from where I am staying.
I was in Carrefour, Torreveija, earlier today (it’s a big supermarket of the kind not allowed in Ireland due to vested interests) and heard a few Irish accents, but far more English ones of a certain vintage – older people who had retired here. I suppose many of these people had been on holidays to Spain earlier in their lives and had the idea that they might develop the concept by selling up at home and actually come to live here.

Thing is, a holiday is a bit different to living in a place. Chatting to a few of them (as in previous holidays) you can’t help notice that the “blah blah blah... BUT we’re glad we came here” is a recurring one. Thing is, when you’re sixty-fi ve-plus and have sold up everything you’ve worked for at home and have no way of reversing your decision, you’re going to say that, aren’t you?

Another thing. When you get older, the chances of having a heart attack, a stroke, cancer or whatnot are increased. So the chances of saying a lasting goodbye to a loved one in a hospital where standards of care are actually lower than they are in Ireland or Britain is greatly increased. Then throw into the mix the fact that you can't actually communicate, in any meaningful sense, in the adopted country of your dotage (most retirees here can't, in my experience). “Hey, that’s no way to say goodbye”, as the song goes.

Maybe the changed economic circumstances in Ireland - and Spain - will mean many Irish won't have that place in the sun to look forward to on retirement.  And perhaps that's no bad thing?

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A change is as good as a rest.

Welcome to Gombeen Nation, coming to you from the south of France – holiday time! All this new-fangled technology is great altogether, and I’ve got the newly acquired laptop plugged in and connected up in our little Premiere Classe motel room in the vicinity of Bordeaux.

These things are the business, they really are. €40 for a room, whether there are one, two or three occupants, and a brekkie when you get out of the scratcher for €4.80 a head. OK, it’s not the Four Seasons, but you have everything you need, including en-suite, parking, TV and - of course - inclusive wi-fi. I’m beginning to sound like a budget Bill Bryson here.

Nice drive down from Cherbourg, where we got off the boat at 1pm. 708 kilometres/460 miles in less than seven hours with four stops for coffee/bladder needs. Not bad eh? Try doing that in Ireland... if Ireland was big enough.

The ferry crossing was very smooth, and it’s great having your little cabin and your own bit of space... and we’re not talking knee room here. I’d rather spend 18 hours in a boat with that than be elbowing my way onto one of Mick O’Leary’s crates any day. But it’s horses for courses, I suppose.

Speaking of comforts. One thing I hadn’t noticed before – and call me a naive townie if you will – is the transporting of live animals by lorry. There were four of these juggernauts (each one a double-decker) as we were boarding the boat, and the noise out of the poor buggers inside was awful. Now, I’m not a veggie, but nor would I beat a trail to Elliot and Son butchers every day either – a Big Mac and a Findus burger and a steak once in a blue moon would be about it. But you have to wonder if it’s strictly necessary to transport live animals over long distances and 18-hour ferry crossings on top of each other so people can chomp something, the origin of which they are blissfully unaware?  It seems like unnecessary suffering... I mean, can they not grow cows in France?

We’re continuing on down to Spain tomorrow, and hopefully there will be no more disasters there this year. More about that anon.  And now that Gombeen Nation has gone techie all of a slap, the blog will continue as per usual. 

You know, given the property-based implosion of the Irish economy, Spain might seem like a home from home for the next three weeks.

But hopefully, at least there will be a bit of sunshine.

David Curran and the killing of Marius Szwajkos and Pawel Kalite in Drimnagh

The first sign of Spring in the Irish Times letters page is usually the cuckoo calling, or some such. In real life, however, it is more likely to be when your train, on the way back from work of a bright evening, is pelted with stones by skangers. Welcome to Ireland, and Dublin in particular.

Sadly, Dublin is chock-full of skangers, and they perpetuate down the generations. If you were to ask me to go into how it happened – and I might do in another post – I’d say it’s because the Irish, in general, were encouraged down the generations to breed, pure and simple, without any further consideration.  Remember, contraceptives were banned – even in the Eighties – without a doctor’s prescription.

The other thing is the social-welfare dependent underclass we have created. Sorry, I know I’ll be called a right-winger and a neo-con for saying this, but it can’t be a good idea to reward people with housing and benefits on the basis of the number of kids they pop out. It can’t lead to responsible parenting, can it?

Let’s face it, there is a real problem here in Ireland, and we have to see why it is occurring. And you don’t have to tell me about our piss-taking, parasitic professional classes who have it all sewn up: our doctors, consultants, dentists, lawyers, bankers, politicians, publicans, teachers, gardai and all the rest. I know all that.

But how can we breed people like David Curran?  Charged in court with the murder, at the age of 17, of two Polish nationals who came to Ireland to work?  This scumbag, by his own account, spent the day in question drinking vodka from 10am, stealing a moped (which he said contained a screwdriver), “being present” when it was set alight, took 15 “tablets”, drank “six or seven” alcopops and smoked “seven cannabis joints” before ramming a screwdriver into the skulls of not one, but two, human beings that very same evening?  Two human beings who had come to this country to work.

Assuming that the toerag’s testimony is true, what kind of society have we created that produces such people?  How could he sustain his "lifestyle"?

What’s wrong with this place? 

See also Murder of Polish workers in Drimnagh, Dublin. Gombeen Nation, February 2008

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Overheard in Dublin

People often remark in the comments section of the blog on how godawful a place Dublin is.

You know the story.  The skangers, the trigger-happy criminals, Dublin Corporation, the Dail, the litter, the druggies, the buggies, the crappy public transport, the awful, congested roads, the dreadful drivers, the high cost of living, the shiftylazy coppers, the weather, the general grottiness, and whatever else. And speaking as someone whose parents, his parents’ parents, and his parents’ parents’ parents were all from Dublin city, I find it very hard to disagree if I’m honest.

You’ll have heard of the book “Overheard in Dublin”? Basically it’s an annual (and highly successful) compilation of various snippets of clever conversation and Behanesque wisecracks our capital city’s denizens are inherently predisposed to utter. Supposedly.

Well, I was walking across Butt Bridge today and was treated to one such example of deliciously witty Dublin dialogue. For some reason, there is always a large gathering of tracksuit-clad individuals standing around that part of town and down along the nearby Liffey boardwalk.  I don’t know what they do, exactly, but they always seem to be in the throes of some very dramatic and animated conversations/transactions.  Maybe they are homeless and get turfed out by the Powers-That-Be to wander around and get up to things, or maybe they are just excitable – I don’t know.  In fairness, they’ve never actually bothered me, so I’ll leave it at that.

Anyway, as I ambled past a cluster of these characters one of them suddenly lifted up his trackie top to reveal a very blotchy, spotty back. Now, I wasn’t looking, but he was standing just a few yards in front of me so I couldn’t help but notice. I then observed that an accomplice was earnestly engaged in using the index finger of either hand to squeeze one of the numerous carbuncles on Lifted-Trackie-Top’s back.

Evidently, I had chanced upon some quaint grooming ritual, and had only time to avert my eyes before I heard the immortal, eloquent words: “Naaww, I’m norrrable teh geh tha one. Dere issin a head on ih yeh”.   Lovely.

The tourists should consider themselves lucky. What other European capital could offer that?

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Eamon “The Don” Dunne, Dublin criminal, downs his last pint.

Few will mourn the death of Eamon “The Don” Dunne, who passed away in a predictable manner last Friday at the Fassaugh House, Cabra, when two masked men walked into the pub and shot him eight times in the head. Evidently they weren’t taking any chances.

Today's papers claim that the gangland boss and drugs baron had ordered at least 17 murders since 2005.  Many of the victims were fellow gangland rivals or associates, but also included young apprentice plumber, Anthony Campbell, who was shot dead while fixing a radiator in the house of criminal rival Martin Hyland in 2006.  Another innocent victim was 28-year-old mother-of-two Baibe Saulite, murdered by a hitman provided by Dunne on behalf of her estranged husband. (Sunday Tribune).

It seems “The Don” was involved in several beatings and tortures too, and was a hated figure even among fellow criminals who resented the police attention his unrestrained killing attracted.  A thoroughly despicable character then.

Interestingly, "The Don’s" name came up once before on Gombeen Nation, back in October of last year, when the Evening Herald reported that three plain-clothes gardai based in west Dublin were arrested on suspicion of passing information to the criminal.  The arrests followed an earlier raid on a uniformed garda who was found in possession of a shotgun at this home, allegedly taken from an evidence room at a Garda station.  

The Herald report said that a file had been prepared for the Director of Public Prosecutions, yet today’s Sunday Tribune mentions only that “internal Garda enquiries are under way to determine how successful he was at corrupting gardai”.

It is unlikely we have heard the last of Dunne, just yet.

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Hitler, his bodyguard, and Irish folk music.

Most of you will know that yours truly comes in for a certain amount of criticism from some quarters for not being Irish enough. You know the spiel - not showing a great enough appreciation for “Irish culture”, blood sacrifices, and all the rest of it. 

Well, apologies.  You see, despite being very much Irish – I regret to say I had no choice in the matter – a lot of that malarkey seems to have passed me by, and the very sight of a jigging dancer or the faintest drone of an uileann piper is enough to set me  retching.  My detractors tell me that this is caused by self-loathing.  I'd say it's just loathing.

Mind you, I’m sure there are Scots who feel the same when they see a bunch of half-wits strutting around Edinburgh in their kilts on rugby days, and I’m sure there are others who would flee for the top of Ben Nevis at the slightest hint of a bagpipe skirl. And when is the last time you saw an English person morris dancing? In seriousness, I mean?

You see, I don’t think that the Irish ability for embarrassment is sufficiently developed as yet… maybe that’s why we keep on making eejits of ourselves over and over again for the amusment of the world?

I’ve always thought the old trad thing to be very po-faced and joyless, anyway.  I once looked at some clips from an RTE archive programme showing some “session” in progress in the 50s (or maybe it was the 80s?) and you’d swear they could have cracked nuts with their arses, they seemed so uptight.

Of course, nobody did po-faced, joyless and uptight as well as Adolf Hitler and his band of Nazi chums – great folklore enthusiasts, incidentally.  You can’t imagine many smiles being cracked at the Nuremburg rallies, can you? Heads, maybe, smiles no.

But apparently the Führer had a great appreciation of Irish music, and if the following piece from the Daily Telegraph has any (unlikely) basis in fact, he was so begeistert by a bit of diddly-dyddely that he sacrificed one of his Leibstandarte bodyguards for a visiting Irish musician to rest his pipe-playing posterior on.

See below (big thanks to Paul for sending this one in).

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Adolf Hitler would not have debased a Nazi stormtrooper for the sake of Irish folk music

By Guy Walters, Daily Telegraph, April 19th, 2010


Not a week goes by without some exciting new revelation about Adolf Hitler. Most of these “findings” are complete JH (junk history), and this latest example takes the whole pack of biscuits. According to an exhibition chronicling 120 years of Irish folk music in and around Dublin, Adolf Hitler supposedly ordered an SS man to act as a seat for a visiting Irish piper called Sean Dempsey. According to the story, “Hitler… ordered a hapless storm trooper to get down on his hands and knees so Mr Dempsey could sit and perform astride the man”. Dempsey then played a “haunting air” that quite moved the Führer, who presented the musician with a gold fountain pen.


I don’t believe a word of it. The idea that Hitler would have debased one of his elite guard to act as a seat strikes me as being extremely unlikely. There are lots of things about Hitler that are bizarre and outlandish, but when it comes to stories such as these, bring your salt cellar.

***************************************************************************

 Anyway, true or not,  that is a vision that will stay with me forever.

I'm just glad I didn't have to listen too.

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Heyday - call for a general election

Gombeen Nation is on the campaign trail again, so thanks to T for bringing the following to our attention.

Most readers of the blog will have had it up to here with the Fianna Fail-led government that has been in power for far too long, and has saddled us bankers' and developers' debts for decades to come.

Somebody has set up a Facebook campaign to get Brian and Co out of the Dail's most potentially damaging seats  -  see the video above and the link below.

Now, while I'd be sceptical about the power of a Facebook campaign to effect any kind of meaningful change  - and would never underestimate the potential of the Irish electorate to vote the same shysters straight back in come the next election - it's still worth supporting, I think.  

Worth a beep or two, anyway, if you see them about.

Saturday April 24th 2010 - Call for a General Election
http://www.facebook.com/generalelection

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Irish to be laboratory bunnies for electric cars

Forget about the Germans, who claim to have invented the car. The Americans too, who say something similar. Disregard the French, the British and the Italians, all with their impeccable motoring heritage. Then there’s the Japanese, with their cutting-edge automotive technology. They are all in the ha’penny place in comparison to Ireland.

You see, Irish governments have always been highly innovative when it comes to the subject of motoring. Or, more accurately, they have always been highly innovative when it comes to devising ways of taxing Irish motorists, who pay far more to buy, run, tax and insure their cars than most other Europeans. But that’s where the Irish expertise on motoring ends.

Funny then, that energy minister Eamon Ryan thinks that we - ahead of the automotive manufacturing nations that actually make the vehicles - are somehow qualified to blaze a trail in electric car technology. You see, it looks like we are all to be volunteered as laboratory bunnies, with Ireland becoming a “testing ground” for the electric car (along with that other famous motoring nation, Portugal). “Bunnies” is the operative term, of course, given that we are talking about motor cars propelled by Duracells.

Of course the airy notion is that all our electric cars – and Ryan envisages 10% of them will occupy road space by 2020 - will eventually run on wind energy. In the meantime, however, they will work on electricity generated from fossil fuels – or imported from nuclear power stations in Britain. So they are as green as a peat bog.

The fact is, we are very lucky that electric cars are so crap, because if everyone went out and bought one, then plugged it into the mains, the national grid and the ESB would go up in a big puff of acrid, electric smoke quicker than you could say “AAA”. But that does not stop our tin-pot politicians from letting on that we are world leaders in a technology that’s about as high-tech as the old Scalextrix set I had as a kid.

Some manufacturers have been working on electric cars for years, but even so, most of them only have a claimed range of about 160 kilometres. Most have to be left plugged in overnight to achieve full charge from the mains – and try doing that if you live in an apartment in town – and most will take about half-an-hour to achieve 80% charge from the so-called “fast” chargers being rolled out… and that’s assuming any of the chargers are unoccupied and available. The truth is, if you tried to go any distance in an electric car, your nerves would be in absolute tatters by the time you arrived at your destination…. assuming you did.

Today’s Sunday Times claims that Richard Tol, research professor at the ERSI, believes that Ryan is “taking too much of a risk by investing so early in an “infant” technology”, pointing out that “other alternative fuel options, such as hydrogen, are also in development and that it could be 15 years before the winner emerges”.

I’ll hold off until then thanks, and not even a Tesla Roadster with a 0-60 time of 3.7 seconds would tempt me into its sterile embrace. What’s the point of that if you are going to conk out and be stranded a few miles down the road? In the meantime, I think leccy cars are best left to those who want to feel smug, and have something to talk about at cocktail parties.

And Eamon Ryan, of course.

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Government bail-out for mortgage holders?

It’s not too difficult to imagine the following…

LETTER TO BRIAN COWEN FROM A PROPERTY INVESTOR

Dear Brian. 

I was one of the Celtic Tiger go-getters who drove our economy when we were the envy of the world.  I was a risk-taker. A mover and shaker. A free-marketeer. A wealth creator.  And not just for myself, but for Ireland in general.

Some would say I was greedy, now that the zeitgeist has changed and we are all wise after the event, of course. But wasn’t it Michael McDowell, when he was your coalition partner, who said that greed was good?  Or was it Margaret Thatcher?  I get confused sometimes.

Then there were all the tax breaks your government had on offer, courtesy of that economic visionary Charlie McCreevy.  You see, as the self-employed owner of a small business, I never did agree with the principle of paying tax.   So I took advantage of a few of your government’s numerous property-based tax shelters to minimise my exposure.  I must introduce you to my accountant if things ever pick up again – he knows a trick or two!

To cut a long story short, Brian,  I built up an impressive portfolio of investment properties over the course of our unprecedented boom, many of them acquired through interest-only mortgages. At one point I was a millionaire several times over (on paper, anyhow).  I loved reciting my list of apartments to my friends, over a nice meal in Rolys, as we discussed the market and the next up-and-coming areas.  Clondalkin was one, I remember.  Halcyon days indeed!

I had all the trappings.  I used my property portfolio as leverage to get finance for a lovely Aston Martin DB9, and I traded in the E-Class every year on the same basis.  Those registration plates say so much about you.  Image is everything in the world of the entrepreneur!

But I did some good for society too.  I provided employment for two people in my once bustling coffee shop, and it might have been more but for the minimum wage.  I provided accommodation for our expanding labour force, and made sure that as much money as possible was coming into our economy by upwardly revising my rents every year, kicking out anyone who wouldn’t stump up.

Now, Brian, it’s all gone awry.  My investment properties have plummeted in value, I can’t rent them out, and the DB9 has been repossessed.  Now I am reduced to driving around in a 06 Merc, and I’ve had to take the boys out of St Andrews.

It’s not that long ago that one of Fianna Fail's greatest-ever thinkers, Bertie Ahern, was saying that the boom could only get boomier, and I didn’t doubt him.  Who would?   In short, Brian, I think your government led me, and others like me, astray.  You led us to believe, along with all those economists, that things could only get better. 

Your party has been very kind to the bankers and the developers, so what about the little man/woman like me?  We are the deserving cases, as we drove the whole shooting match.  We were the ones on the ground, making it happen. 

There has been considerable discussion in some quarters about the possibility of a bail-out for hard-pressed mortgage holders.  I hope you give such suggestions serious thought, and consider those of us who have multiple mortgages.   I think it is only right and proper.  After all, aren’t we the most hard-pressed of all?

There’ll be a vote in it for you.   Again.

G. Reed.
Dalkey.
Co Dublin.

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