Tuesday, 31 July 2007

Life's Great Sperm Race

Time for to lift the mood with a bit of Irish wit, rather than bullshit, for a change. Some graffiti spotted in Richmond Street last week:

"I can't believe that out of 15 million sperm, Kevin (surname withheld) came first"

Back to Gombeen Nation mainpage

Monday, 30 July 2007

Epic Sons of Ireland

An insider brought the following MySpace page to the attention of Gombeen Man. It's from a group calling itself The Epic Sons of Ireland who, it seems, have placed the Irish right at the top of the master race pecking order. This came as a surprise to Gombeen Man, who did his bit for the anti-fascist cause while living as an economic migrant in the London of the 80s and 90s. At the time, British fascists had an affectionate term for we Irish: "Bog Wogs". Gombeen Man - never one to be constrained by objectivity - imagines the authors of the site are spoilt Celtic Tiger Brats, living at home under their parents' feet.

Obviously, empathy with those who have had to leave their own countries in search of a better life is not a quality they could be expected to have.


This is the Official Myspace of ESOI, The Epic Sons of Ireland. This was a group created at first by Max Schutte and Joe Daley to oppose the large amount of non-Irish in our area. We hope to one day make this global. Josh Norton got the ball rolling by making a group, so due something about it... SHIT! This is not a hate group, us Irish are just better than you. One more thing.....


Back to Gombeen Nation mainpage

Sunday Tribune and the Irish Language Industry

Gombeen Man has observed that many of the dahlings of the Irish media have a 'gra' for the auld 'native tongue'. And why wouldn't they? Sure how could you get on in RTE without it?

How could a major talent such as Hector flourish without Official Ireland's first notional language? And aren't the Gaelic schools a handy, free, middle-class route to third-level education, with a few extra points thrown in for doing the Leaving in 'Irish'?

On the 15th of July, the Sunday Tribune published an article by an "Irish language" supporter claiming that 1.6 million speak "De Language" throughout the State.

What the letter didn't point out - and the Tribune left unchallenged - is that this 1.6 million figure includes children at school (even Kindergarten) from the ages of 3 years up.

In fact, 2002 CSO Census figures say that:

"a quarter of those who indicated that they could speak 'Irish' [a quarter of the above figure] were reported as speaking it on a daily basis. Most of these (76.8%) were in the school-going ages."

That puts the 1.6 million figure in perspective doesn't it? Then remember the State jobs and teaching jobs, the legal profession and others all requiring prospective employees to have "Irish" and it really paints a picture of the true popularity and proficiency of the "language" among the real public.

It's a pity a Sunday newspaper will uncritically publish such misleading information.

Gombeen Man calls for an end to compulsory 'Irish', subsidies, and the Stalinist State approach to its promotion!

Back to Gombeen Nation mainpage

Irish Speed Cameras

There's an excellent, and long anticipated (for Gombeen Man, anyway) site warning Irish motorists of the increasingly fat cash-cow that is the speed camera. The site shows the location of speed cameras via a map, with a detailed description of each location and camera type - including our sneaky Boys and Girls in Blue hiding in the backs of vans - usually on the safest, but busiest, roads in the country.

Indeed an EU study showed that the most dangerous roads are the single-lane country roads and that the safest were the country's slowly expanding dual-carriageway and motorway network. It also showed that the authorities obsession with 'speed' alone is another piece of bullshitty nonsense typical of our little land - Germany's Autobahns have no mandatory speed limit on close to 70% of its network, yet they have fewer fatalities than we do.

Any chance of getting the coppers out of the pubs and into the carparks to apprehend pissed punters before they head out onto our backroads to wreak death and havoc?

The site is http://www.irishspeedtraps.com

Back to Gombeen Nation mainpage

Little Lad of the Tricks

Is there anyone out there who can give an innocent interpretation of this poem by 1916 hero, Padraig Pearse? This was written by him in 1909, one year after he set up the St Endas School for Boys, in south Dublin.

Was this the template for the Christian Brothers, and all that followed?


by Padraig Pearse.

Little lad of the tricks,
Full well I know
That you have been in mischief:
Confess your fault truly.

I forgive you, child
Of the soft red mouth:
I will not condemn anyone
For a sin not understood.

Raise your comely head
Till I kiss your mouth:
If either of us is the better of that
I am the better of it.

There is a fragrance in your kiss
That I have not found yet
In the kisses of women
Or in the honey of their bodies.

Lad of the grey eyes,
That flush in thy cheek
Would be white with dread of me
Could you read my secrets.

He who has my secrets
Is not fit to touch you:
Is not that a pitiful thing,
Little lad of the tricks ?

Back to Gombeen Nation mainpage