Sunday, 17 January 2010

Blanchardstown Shopping Centre - Buggy Wonderland.

I’ve just come back from the nearby Blanchardstown Shopping Centre, and the place was heaving. Whatever about consumer spending being down, there’s still a heavy footfall – and Liffey Valley was the same yesterday.

What’s really remarkable though, is the number of buggies in these places. Bloody hell, both the Blanchardstown Centre and Liffey Valley were like two massive crèches, with a plague of screaming brats pushed along by battalions of aggressive, shellsuit-clad mothers (always the mothers). My heels still bear the bruises as a result of not getting out of their way quickly enough. Next time I’m taking the hiking boots, or I might don a priest's attire in order to keep them away from me.

You might have guessed by now that I’m not exactly the paternal sort: the pitter-patter of tiny feet and the thought of spending my hard-earned on packets of Pampers (when I could be spending it on beer) are things that never attracted me – but that’s just me, right? And let’s face it, when it comes to popping them out there are no shortage of volunteers in Ireland.

So, given that a recession is possibly the best time to start a business - with lower rents, cheaper premises, and reduced start-up costs - here’s a top tip for you. Get yourself a Mothercare or Mamas & Papas franchise, and remember me kindly when you really start coining it in when the economy improves in 2020.

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Bernd said...

Have you ever noticed how many "drivers" of these buggies ...

a. constantly use them as close support weapons in their quest to navigate towards their next destination by ramming them into enemy personnel (i.e. everybody else);

b. occasionally use them to push their right of way across a busy road regardless of a crossing thirty yards away, trusting that everyone will brake on the dime to save the child;

c. overload the handles of the buggies with shopping bags so, the instant they let go of the handles (usually to light a fag while using the mobile), the whole contraption falls over, the kid spills out, starts to bawl and then gets a smack;

d. cram the buggy full with shopping and let their 16-month-old toddler wander on his/her own, encouraged by shrill cries of "Get yer feckin arse over here, wait til you get home!";

e. will be joined by a track-suited lynch-mob if ever you dare to comment on the above?

The Gombeen Man said...

Ha, Bernd. Excellent. I've often ruminated on the very same points!

Anonymous said...

Nothing annoys me more that women screaming at their young kids in shopping centres, buses etc is it any wonder half them end up as junkies or joy riders, seriously there are a lot of women, mainly from the working class it has to be said, who need proper parenting skills.

The Gombeen Man said...

Shouldn't that be non-working class?

B.N. Sweets said...

Great blog, man.

Think that is why I do most of my shopping online, or in the local petrol stations for the day-to-day essentials.

There are definitely folks out there who should just get a couple of cats from the pound instead of breeding babies at will, as it's often pretty obvious that they can't cope with children.