Saturday, 11 January 2014

Beep if you're Irish - Leo Varadkar and road safety

Given that we still have the highest birthrate in the EU, it will come as no surprise to you that so many Irish people are forever on the horn.  But what about in the motoring sense?

In my experience - and I have lived in the UK, worked in Germany and Luxembourg, spent a bit of time in Brussels and driven as far south as Mazarron in Spain and as far east as Halle in Germany - Irish drivers are bloody awful.  Possibly worse than the Belgians.

Despite the country having more roundabouts per square centimetre than a badly chickenpoxed visage has pock-marks,  the Irish don't know how to use them.  "Signal, turn" is an abstract concept for them.  Either that, or they are trying to save the planet, the polar bears and electricity by not using those orange things on the four corners of their automotive conveyances. 

Three lane motorways?  The inside lane is usually left empty, with the exception of trucks - often going at higher velocity than private cars in the middle and rightmost overtaking lanes.

Red lights?  They are like those things matadors wave at bulls, and simply invite a reckless charge. On my miserable little half-hour lunch break in Dublin's city centre, I routinely lose count of how many times I see some arsehole break a red light, when there are pedestrians just about to cross the road, only to get as far as the next set of lights. 

The solution for all these ills from our  transport minister, Leo Varadkar,  is to put average speed cameras on the motorways. Well Leo, it is obvious that only a great mind like yours can qualify for, and get through, seven years of medical college.

But I digress.  Have you - apart from your missing tax money that goes towards financing children's allowances - noticed the latest craze for the horn in Ireland?  It seems the only part of a car's anatomy Paddy and Mary are familiar with is the button in the middle of the steering wheel, which is often used as a kind of retaliatory device.

I've never seen this anywhere else.  It is a relatively new thing that's only become apparent in the past couple of years, and is a sad reflection on  the generation of gobshites that are the future of this fucked-up little country. It's like an auditary affirmation of their utter arseholery, and saves you the trouble of having to consult BoardsDotIE or PoliticsDotIE.

Here's an example.  A few months back I was on the road leading from Clonsilla to Castleknock, when the car in front had to slam on its brakes when some half-wit emerged from a side road.   Understandably, the driver of the car who had averted an accident by hitting the anchors beeped his/her horn.  What was the response from the gobshite who pulled out from the side road?  A contrite wave, a finger pointed to their thick head, an acknowledgement of being in the wrong?     No, of course not  - they beeped their horn back.

Can you think of anything more stupid?   To be honest - and maybe I shouldn't say this - if I had been in the car that had to stop, I might well have followed them to the next set of lights and punched theirs out.  

And that would have done a lot more for road safety in this country  than Leo Varadkar and the RSA ever will.

Back to Gombeen Nation main page


DC3 said...

Irish drivers are slow witted and brazenly unpredictable. They can't get their jelly brain around the concept of THE INDICATOR. An individual I know, whom happens to work in Frankfurt asked me why there so many fools on Irish roads? Again ashamed to be Irish I replied they are in some way challenged.

He even noticed a trend I have been aware of for the last while, of a cohort of arse heads that actually indicate or head lamp flash while they are on a continuous road while not intending to stop or turn. It's like they have a weird form of autism or turrets, but really they are simply retarded in some way or other (not PC but they are complete tossers) as their few beleaguered brain "cells" lazily think they are cool and trendy while really they are THICK BOGGERS. We concluded that it's a "form" of aggression and road rage. Ireland as ever proves itself to be the land good taste forgot.

Where in the name of Christ would you get as many scumbags who can't even understand the concept of Foglamps?

Ella said...

On the subject of Irish drivers, I use the motorway to get to work of a morning and on occasion I have had to stop before joining as the gobshite in front of me has stopped. Anywhere else they speed up to join a motorway and that's what I do when joining (well normally anyway)..

Anonymous said...

A possible explanation for poor driving standards in the Republic of Ireland might be that driving tests were essentially voluntary for many years. Unlike in the UK, before 2007 it was possible to drive unaccompanied on an Irish provisional licence, and so many people never took a test.

As a result, poor driving on the A55 dual carriageway in North Wales is sometimes blamed on people going to and from the Holyhead ferry, rather than Welsh or English drivers.

Nenad said...

Driving in Ireland? Jaysus don't get me started! After 9 years living there I could write a book about it in particular. If I were a film-producer I'd do a 3 hour comedy with the title "Exqueeze me!"

DC3 said...

Or what about gobshites that only indicate as soon as they stop to turn right? They either slow traffic or drive into the filter lane, and then their brain cell realises it has to indicate their intention.

Or what about the car directly behind that twat stopping stationary, not attempting to manoeuvre past? Thereby holding up other cars behind who think it's traffic build up not some retard turning right.

Drove in other countries, it happens, but not virtually every time a gobshite wants to turn right. The Irish CAN NOT DRIVE.

Anonymous said...

Hi GM ! And let's not forget about the 'Tailgaters ! Who REALLY believe that if they drive half an inch away from your bumper that they have some sort of magic power that makes the person their behind drive quicker !? ! Was approaching a VERY icy roundabout the other morning,(someone already lost their car here last week due to the bad weather )I had slowed down to go safely around when this moron came flying along out of nowhere flashed me, so I beeped him - to which he beeped back - only then did he realise why I had slowed down as he lost control for a few seconds - the mind boggles ! Brody

The Gombeen Man said...

Well, it's great to get your feedback folks. Good to know I'm not alone in noticing all this.

Anonymous said...

BoardsDotIE When Stormfront are just too damn moderate ?