Wednesday, 2 June 2010

Niamh Kavanagh and Ireland's Eurovision bum note - why it happened.

Right, it’s taken me this long to comment on it, so you can safely deduce that I’m not a huge fan of the Eurovision.

OK, I had a peek when Dustin was on it a while back, but only because so many bonnets were buzzing with swarms of angry bees (including Dana's) at the idea that Ireland’s entrant was a foul-mouthed turkey puppet taking the piss out of the whole thing.

I heard Niamh Kavanagh’s Irish entry a few days before this year's competiton, when RTE were going on about how great it was. I have to say, I thought it was awful. Awful. In fact I think John Waters could have written a better song, tune and all, and that is saying something.

So imagine my surprise at all the fuss and whingeing when it finished third-last in Eurosong. “What went wrong?” was all I could see in the papers and hear on the airwaves.  Well, what went wrong is that it was a crap song, full stop.  Musically, a good song should have a hook, a rhythm, and a melody.  “It’s For You” fell down in this regard as it had none of those things. Not one.

Out of curiosity, and to satisfy the strict standards of research and objectivity for which Gombeen Nation is famous, I had a quick listen on You Tube to the winning German entry, “Satellite” by Lena, and thought it was alright for a Eurovision song. At least it had the quality of rhythm anyway.

But for those who for whom winning the Eurovision Song Contest is considered an achievement, and who prefer to see Ireland’s lack of recent success as the consequence of demographic changes and culturally similar voting blocks conspiring against us, a tongue-in-cheek letter in yesterday's Irish Times from Jake Walsh of County Louth might have an answer.

He suggests that we encourage the UK to enter as Northern Ireland, Scotland, England and Wales to increase the voting power in this corner of Europe. Greenland, the Isle of Man, and Iceland should also be encouraged to abandon all taste and enter.

If any of the other countries object that the newly independent UK “countries” - for reasons of Eurovision expediency - are disqualified on the grounds of having no national broadcasting companies of their own, he says (though I’m sure there’s a HTV, a UTV, and a STV), any objections  “can easily be allayed by the simple provision of a brass plate or two bearing the names of said corporations in our very own IFSC. After all, this is one area of international competition in which we are still truly world class!”

Douze points, Jake.

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Anonymous said...

Never Mind Eurovision

Chris Andrews condemns Israeli attacks, demands international response

31st May 2010
Dublin South East Fianna Fáil T.D. Chris Andrews has condemned Israel’s attack on the ‘freedom flotilla’ in international waters early this morning and called on the Minister for Foreign Affairs Micheál Martin T.D. to demand immediate answers from the Israeli Ambassador to Ireland.


Mr Andrews
What the hell do you know about Israel or Gaza and what right do you have to ask people to sign petitions. If there were votes or advantage you would change sides immediately. You belong to a privileged family where nepotism is rife. It is fine to live in Donnybrook or some other salubrious area of Dublin in your millionaire mansion. Just imagine that a group of people with stone-age attitudes were shelling your 12 bedroom mansion, every day and killing your children. Imagine that ship full of shells and rockets were coming into Dublin to blow you and your family to bits, what would you do? You would fight back as Ireland has always done.
Israel will survive anything, just as we survived Hitler and nothing that you or a bunch of idle well to do middle class political ambitious persons can do about it. From it’s history Ireland should know this after fighting invaders for 1000 years since Brian Boro.

David Aaron Ayalon
Hoboken NJ

The Gombeen Man said...

Thank you for that, David.

Now, I'm sure there are lots of blogs out there on this very subject. So could we please keep comments (if any) on topic please?

anna said...

It means different things to different people…
Germans are overjoyed at first win in nearly 30 yrs…as they always felt rest of EU still blamed them for 2 world wars…. We can graciously let them have it…
Ireland won more times than any other nation, to the horror of RTE ( huge expense and organization of the next years contest)..
In fact it was widely believed RTE began fielding dud candidates in national song contest, ie non winners at Euro level…to their total dismay a few of these turkeys did get through, leading to a few more ‘Songs for Europe’ being broadcast from Dublin.
Was our Euro success a consolation prize for not being great in many other areas where highly developed nations like Germany and France etc excel, such as healthcare? Having said all that, I still think Johnny Logan singing ‘What’s another year’ was the best song ever to win..a real song with real heart ( Shay Healy wrote it about his mother’s death)

The Picaroony said...

Ah the Eurovision ....a spectacle of “musical” retardation for aul’ones of all ages, shapes and sizes. Were Israel in it? If not will these piratical shenanigans spoil their chances for future hopes of entry do ye reckon?


Anonymous said...

Back to topic.Well done GM.I fell for the propaganda of the song being strong until.... i listened to it for the first time.How it even qualified for the final God knows.Unbelievably we were told afterwards it was block voting etc.Except.. the winner was Germany which had some issues with the rest of Europe 65-70 years ago