Thursday, 22 December 2011

Vodafone Customer Support... Not!!!!

This morning, I found myself passing Glasnevin Cemetery on the way to work and thinking "hmmm, that looks quite comfy"

Why?  Well, over the past week or two I have been dealing with Vodafone customer care; in tandem with the devilspawn, illegitimate offspring of State-owned Telecom Eireann, Eircom.

If you are wondering why there have been so few blog posts lately, look no further than this desperate letter I  sent to Vodafone today.

Dear Madam/Sir.

I am sending you this email as I do not know where else to turn at this point.

My wife and I moved house two weeks ago and are Vodafone customers (phone and broadband).    Since we moved to the new address our broadband connection has deteriorated to that of a 1990’s dial-up equivalent. When we phone Vodafone customer support (which we have done many, many times) the representative invariably confirms that there is a problem with our broadband, and resolves to have the line checked.

The day before yesterday someone from Eircom came out and checked the line (at Vodafone’s instigation), before confirming it was in working order.   We still continued to have problems with our agonizingly slow connection so, again, we got back onto Vodafone Customer Support.  Again, they confirmed the connection was not correct and said they would send someone to check it.

This morning, a totally disinterested Eircom technician came out to check the line.  After first picking up my wife’s shopscan handset – mistaking it for a phone – he eventually concluded the line was “100% OK”.   He added that our internet connection was through Vodafone he could do no more.

You can guess the rest...   When we tried our connection again it was still the same.   Vodafone customer support ran a series of tests and confirmed there was still a fault.  They said someone (I presume from Eircom) would come out to check our line tomorrow.

It is beginning to resemble some Kafka-esque Groundhog Day at this stage, and I now fear we will be without a proper broadband connection all over Christmas.

If the matter cannot be resolved tomorrow (December 23rd), we would like to cancel our account on the grounds that the service we are paying for is not being provided to us by Vodafone.

I hope you, the person reading this email, can do what no-one else has succeeded in doing so far, and get our connection sorted for us.


***** *********

Let's see what happens then, shall we?  

Or not. 

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Dakota said...

So I gather there's a connection fault then? A break in the line? That's the problem with the string and the two cans approach, it disintegrates over time, with the Irish climate. Emmm, not so much Broadband GM, more pay your money and take your chance - with a little abuse thrown in for the craic. Nice.

The Gombeen Man said...

Dealing with the two of them is like bad cop / bad cop, D. The half-wit from Eircom took the Keystone Prize though, attempting to check the line of something that was a scanner, not a phone. Oh, and he put it back in the cradle upside down. I guess he was in the job from the glorious State ownership days.

Anonymous said...

After months of shite I met a man in a pub in Riverstown - works for the Eircom switching station - who told me that the broadband software was corrupted but no one knew how to repair it. Eircom has the lines and Vodaphone can't understand the setup from the old days. We moved to Three wireless. Not a hope of ever seeing fibreoptic here, despite the millions given to Eircom to install the now unused lines.

Anonymous said...

:D u need get a bt line where they charge u by the 'gig'

The Gombeen Man said...

It would not surprise me in the slightest, Anon. The longer this goes on, the more I convinced I become that the fault is with Eircom, not Vodafone.

I'll have to do a post entitled "Eircom, a shower of useless ****s".

Anonymous said...

GM there could be a multitude of potential causes for slow speeds or an intermittitent connection. Ranging from distance to the exchange to oversubscription in your area. It may be worth asking your neighbours what ISP they have and if they are experiencing problems. .. I recommend going to this website and scrolling down and selecting the 'ping test', this you could give you a fair idea of what the problem maybe, computer/router, line or exchange. Or alternatively if you know how to run 'netstat' from windows 'cmd'.. all the best F

Anonymous said...

grrr thats the last time i drink eggnog n post =))

The Gombeen Man said...

Thanks for that, F. All the best yourself. BTW, I think it might be an antiquated phone point that's the prob, which our intrepid Eircom engineer chose not to notice. I will ask the neighbours about ISPs... that's a good idea mate.

Anonymous said...

if you able to connect a 'modem'lead at the connection it can't be that anticky :p personally i expect the problem to be at the 'junction box'.. so many are

The Gombeen Man said...

I'll do a post on this sooner rather than later, F.