If there's one thing that got Martin Luther going it was "indulgences".
A leading mover in the 16th century Protestant Reformation, Luther took exception to the idea of the Catholic Church taking cash, land, or favours from contributing Christians in exchange for a cushier life in the hereafter.
Luther had his faults – being a vicous anti-semite was one – but you have to say he was principled in his way, and took a hard line on corruption and shysterism. Principled, as opposed to promiscuous – the main urge for Henry VIII's later expedient conversion to the reformed church.
Don't worry, we haven't gone all Holy Joe here on Gombeen Nation. It's just that a reader brought attention to the story below, which tells of the Catholic Church getting all down and with it with the kids (as opposed to going down on the kids, please note).
Yes, it seems that subscribing to Pope Frannie's Twitter account will shave a sweaty seven years off your time in Purgatory, should you end up there when you slip off the mortal coil.
That's a hell of a deal, isn't it?
And let them scoff. When you're hopping on the heavenly escalator seven years before your fellow Purgatorians you can – in the spirit of true Christian charity – thumb your nose at them as they continue to sizzle on the subterranean griddle.
Hurry though, the offer won't last for all eternity.