You know the story. The skangers, the trigger-happy criminals, Dublin Corporation, the Dail, the litter, the druggies, the buggies, the crappy public transport, the awful, congested roads, the dreadful drivers, the high cost of living, the shiftylazy coppers, the weather, the general grottiness, and whatever else. And speaking as someone whose parents, his parents’ parents, and his parents’ parents’ parents were all from Dublin city, I find it very hard to disagree if I’m honest.
You’ll have heard of the book “Overheard in Dublin”? Basically it’s an annual (and highly successful) compilation of various snippets of clever conversation and Behanesque wisecracks our capital city’s denizens are inherently predisposed to utter. Supposedly.
Well, I was walking across Butt Bridge today and was treated to one such example of deliciously witty Dublin dialogue. For some reason, there is always a large gathering of tracksuit-clad individuals standing around that part of town and down along the nearby Liffey boardwalk. I don’t know what they do, exactly, but they always seem to be in the throes of some very dramatic and animated conversations/transactions. Maybe they are homeless and get turfed out by the Powers-That-Be to wander around and get up to things, or maybe they are just excitable – I don’t know. In fairness, they’ve never actually bothered me, so I’ll leave it at that.
Anyway, as I ambled past a cluster of these characters one of them suddenly lifted up his trackie top to reveal a very blotchy, spotty back. Now, I wasn’t looking, but he was standing just a few yards in front of me so I couldn’t help but notice. I then observed that an accomplice was earnestly engaged in using the index finger of either hand to squeeze one of the numerous carbuncles on Lifted-Trackie-Top’s back.
Evidently, I had chanced upon some quaint grooming ritual, and had only time to avert my eyes before I heard the immortal, eloquent words: “Naaww, I’m norrrable teh geh tha one. Dere issin a head on ih yeh”. Lovely.
The tourists should consider themselves lucky. What other European capital could offer that?
Back to Gombeen Nation main page
9 comments:
Is a price of a bag worth poppin' ten 'back' zitz on the islands or wha? .. Sheesh GM. I#m laffin' but retchin' at the same time... Tell me thats normal...?
I'd say you were pretty lucky GM. It was Butt bridge wasn't it - I suppose they mustn't have realised.
YE GM some sharp and witty dubs alright
scarleh ere, jus tinkin a knocin over ta me fellas gaff ta ask im ta squeze me spots, whaddya recon, dhe intimate groomin wuld ih help da romance?
More overheard in Dublin here:
http://www.overheardindublin.com/
Lovely, really devine is'nt it? Dublin. What a nice place to be? Me thinks GM you were lucky thats all they were doing.
Dakota
Reminds me of a trip to Munich once. With a German friend and she was telling us we were heading to a nice part of the city. As we rose up on one of those cool escalators that pop you right up on to the pavement we were greeted by a very inebriated woman in her 50s with her cardigan open to the navel and showing off a very suntanned page 3 style torso - lovely.
Reminds me of overhearing two Dublin skanger birds a few years ago. As they pass me in the street one of them says to other, in a very indignant tone: "Fuck off, I wouldn't sleep with same bloke every night if I wasn't going out with him!".
My mind still boggles....
Hi GM, I was wondering from part of your anatomy did you take this picture, it's sooooo yeuch.
Post a Comment