Friday, 25 February 2011

Fianna Failure Monopoly set to ease investment pangs

Not long ago, an enthusiastic portion of the great Irish public was busy borrowing money - as though it was issued by Waddingtons - to invest in shoddily built hovels, shoebox apartments, and ghost estates.   You know, the money the banks and the Europeans were forcing on them?

That's all finished now, of course, and anyone who misses the buzz of viewing a Pyrite-rich newbuild on a Saturday afternoon, along with 30 other investor half-wits, might have to make do with a nice game of Fianna Fail Monopoly instead. 

There is always the option of making a night out of it, and getting a €12 Tescos Meal for Two (including bottle of wine).  Not as nice as the stuff they used to serve up in Rolys, of course - but needs must.

Don't you just hate this new austerity?

Big thanks to a reader who sent this one in.  I don't know who created it, but it's brilliant. 



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9 comments:

Anonymous said...

MY PRAYER: PLEASE GOD SEND SOME “BALLS” TO IRELAND, ANY “BALLS” WILL DO!!!

“THIS IS WHAT I AM GOING TO DO”
I watched The Prime Time Leaders Debate on BBC Parliamentary Channel. Mr Kenny won the debate, but only because the other two were worse and more ill mannered with their interruptions. Although Mr Kenny had a better quality of bad manners.

Fine Gael has never been blessed with charismatic politicians, like Clinton, Blair, even Thatcher, and old Beelzebub himself Charles Haughey. Mr Kenny’s problem is that he needs to be liked by the people and approved of by the party, and that is his Achilles Heel.

At the present time Ireland needs a General Patton type of person. “This is what I am going to do, because this is what needs to be done” Take it or leave it.

NO ONE LINERS
Although Enda Kenny is probably dearly loved by his family and friends, he is not likeable in political terms and he does not have the natural charisma, wit and the ruthless cutthroat demeanour of people like Old Charlie Haughey.

Enda lacks the incise courtroom ruthlessness and political mercilessness that Irish politicians need so badly at the moment, because this is a fight for survival. However Enda Kenny has more charm and wit than the other two put together.

Yes, he will win the election, but only because the other two are witless (no one liner jokes) and they are as dull as dishwater. Remember Charlie’s one liner? (your money is safe in my pocket)

WITLESSNESS
Harold Wilson, Charlie Haughey and Tony Blair studied, Groucho Marx, George Burns, Henny Youngman (the king of the one liners), and Joan Rivers for quick wit, especially to deal with hecklers. When you consider some of the Irish quick fire comedians, Hal Roache, Jimmy O‘Dea, Maureen Potter (the best in the world) any many more, but during the election there has been no wit and humour.

The great soap box speeches and quick fire wit of Harold Wilson and James Dillon are gone. We now have virtual plastic politicians in makeup. Even their off-the-cuff remarks are rehearsed.

Opening one-liner:
“I have been told that making a public speech should last no longer that when I make love” So on that note, I would like to wind up, and thank you all for attending. Have a nice evening!.

Or “I hope you can hear me at the back, because the people up front seem to be nodding off, look it’s not my fault, I didn‘t write this speech”

Can you imagine Enda Kenny or Michael Martin making a quip like that. When Alan Clarke was challenged by a reporter that he was having sexual affairs with three different women, he replied: “Christ, I thought it was more than that”. Kenny and Martin would be saying Hail Mary’s and would protest their innocence vociferously?. Sean Brady would be on the phone, so fast.

A chap said to me last evening, The trouble in Ireland is that: The Left (Labour Party) are Centre Right, The Centre Right (Fine Gael and The Greens) are "Far Right", and the "Far Right" (Fianna Fail and Sinn Fein) are off the Richter Scale of political classification. They are absolutely Vile.

DBMG

Anonymous said...

This is very good and it sums up the whole Fianna Fail castrophe, in terms of a game, because it was a game. They gambled and lost, but if they had won? We would not of questioned the ethics or morality of their conduct. We are "miffed' only because they, went one step too far, as all gamblers do and lost the lot.
If the game is for sale on the market I would buy it for reasons of nostalgia. Please let me know if this game is being marketed. It should be.
DBMG

The Gombeen Man said...

I agree DB... it's excellent. Hats off to whoever did it.

Anonymous said...

I hope that there is some clever entrepreneur who will buy the patent to this special game of Molopoly. Maybe Waddingtons still own it, I don’t know, Either way, this is a “Classic” work of art, that will withstand the depth of time. Whoever you are that created this, you are to be congratulated.

Anonymous said...

Rumours and Careless Talk
The Game of Monoply goes on. It seems that Miche√°l Martin and Fianna Fail are pleased and relieved that they will not have to greet Queen Elizabeth in May. Here we go again. Fianna Fail’s archaic republican pettiness of nationalist hyperbole is still alive and well. They are still dreaming of an Irish Republic that can never and never will materialise.

Yes, there is likely to be a United Ireland in the fullness of time with full amalgamation of both Irish parliaments, completely independent for The United Kingdom. There is no reason why a unionist politician could not be the President of Ireland because if they are born on the island of Ireland makes them just as Irish as a person from Dublin.

After all Mary McAllese was born in Ardoyne, Belfast, so what would prevent someone like Ian Paisley from being the President of a multi cultural, multi lingual, secular (without any religious domination) Irish State?

The Irish Bishops would try to prevent it, but their influence is greatly diminished; almost powerless, thanks to their child abuse outrage. Even the Vatican finds them an embarrassment


DBMG

The Gombeen Man said...

Yes, there is likely to be a United Ireland in the fullness of time with full amalgamation of both Irish parliaments, completely independent for The United Kingdom.

I can't see that, DB. More likely, national borders will become irrelevant in the context of a developing EU. That's my opinion, anyway.

Anonymous said...

Mr Gombeen Man
Yes, you are quite right, what I have proposed is a bit 'far out'. I become a little bit 'looney' from time to time.
DBMG

The Gombeen Man said...

Sure don't we all? I'm worse - I'm an actual blogger!! How looney is that??

;-)

anna said...

Election all but over ( Sunday afternoon)...at last the Gombeens are being driven from Ireland...a great day for this country!!
OK I know we are beng rescued by SF and FG ,(as well as Labour), ie, Nationalist Green nutters and another Rich boys party...
but still..... SF is growing up I hope and may get down to really doing things people need rather than complaining about the head of a fellow EU state and our biggest trading partner coming for the 1st time...and FG might take some heed of the wreckage of fF and see that's how gombeen parties end up if they pander to the rich as well.
And hopefully Labour will gain more at next election- they're the Biggest party in the capital. Hippies like myself can also rejoice in election of Ming Flanagan to the Dail ( Thanig ar la- our day has come).He said he was Humbled by all the votes- and would do his best-I can't wait to see it.
Unfortunately there are no Green TDs- but they will be back on local councils , where they alwasy did great work: Irish newspapers esp of Independant group gave the Greens a bad and often slanderous press- this disguised many good achievements in Government such as Ciaran Cuffe's Planning bill of 2010, which will stop bad rezoning, protect ordinary people - and prevent any more property bubbles.
I don't know much about socialist party ( its usually enough for me that they don't support our rich corrupt 1% tho): However Claire Daly of SP, who was elected in Dublin surely deserves her seat, for being locked up for bin tax protests 10 yrs ago- to the great distress of her toddler daughter- and yet not a banker Ever jailed for financial crimes that amount to treason - what a country.
Good luck to 31st Dail,( despite the fact of heavy presence of parties I don't approve of)..
and may the Great Anti Gombeen Revolution Roll On next election.